What does intimacy have to do with Valentine's Day?

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and it brings up so many mixed feelings for people.  It's supposed to be a day we celebrate the people we love most in our life.  A lover, spouse, our kids, special friends - all those could be put into the mix.  I see a lot of longing in the eyes of those coming into the store these days, and I'm convinced that what they seek is a lot more than a simple "I love you".  Based on some comments I've heard, intimacy is the missing factor.

What is intimacy?  Manya's definition has intimacy as a safe meeting of the minds.  First of all, it must be a safe place.  Far too often, we move away from that safe place after the romantic bloom has faded.  Life gets hectic, conflicts arise, disagreements leave us feeling undervalued, unheard, and dehumanized.  Clearly, that's not a very safe place to be.  So we start closing those formerly-open doors one by one, and before you know it, very few remain open.  We share less and less with each other.

How sad it is that you share so many things with a person (i.e. living space, refrigerator space, household tasks, child-rearing tasks, a few similarities in music and movie choices) and yet feel quite alone at the same time.  There may not be a lonelier feeling on the planet.

Secondly, it's a meeting of the minds.  It seems to me that true intimacy can only take place between those who share similar values and goals.  That might be one of the reasons you feel safe with a person - because you think a lot alike.  Or at least you used to.

This Valentine's Day, re-claim that intimacy by arranging for a special time that just the two of you share.  Think about that sharing of the minds, and choose one of those shared things to re-create in your home, or some other special place.  Set the scene with things you know you both enjoy.  It could be candles everywhere, a bottle of wine, and some great cheese and crackers.  Turn off all phones, pagers, and other communication devices so you have uninterrupted time.  Tell each other stories about those early days when you began to learn about all the ways your minds met, and how amazing that felt!

Someone's got to take the first step.  Everyone on this planet wants to be known.  And then to be loved for being known so deeply - flaws and all.  It is always so risky to open up and reveal those not so pretty parts of oneself.  Remember - you had that at one time with your lover.  He or she is probably missing it too, and regretting its loss.  So be brave.  Take that step.  It's going to be scary, but the rewards are great!  It might be awkward at first, because your lover is feeling insecure about things too.  Just hold on tight, knowing that if you can break through the barriers, that wonderful place can be yours to share again.

That's my wish for you all this Valentine's Day.  Let me know what happens...

Manya

Manya Vee Selects
409 Main St
Edmonds, WA  98020

ManyaVeeSelects.com

Garnet - January's Birthstone

Garnets have been used in jewelry for centuries, and were particularly common in the Late Antique Roman world.  Still popular today, it is not so well-known that garnets come in many colors.  The name itself is believed to derive from the Latin "malum garanatum" which means pomegranate.  The stones do, in fact, rather resemble those lovely seeds.  So no wonder we think of it only as red!

Garnet growing in a rock

But if you're not fond of red, you can also find garnet in gorgeous greens, oranges and yellows.  Due to the popularity, and relatively affordable price or the red garnets, they are the easiest to find on the market.

Green Garnet Drusy Pendant

Metaphysically, garnet is a stone of romantic love and passion.  It is also said that it will bring positive thoughts and boost energy!  I'm sure there are a few of us out there who could use a little of that.

Odd garnet fact #1  - warriors used to carry garnets as a talisman against death and injury.  But it was also said to bring victory and peace, as well as be able to stop the flow of blood.

Odd garnet fact #2 - very few garnets are pretty enough to be cut into gemstones for use in jewelry.  Most garnets are mined and then crushed to be used as industrial abrasives!

Odd garnet fact #3 - the most rare type of gem-grade garnet is the color-change garnet.  We have a lovely specimen in the gallery in a ring made by Seattle master metalsmith Sarah Gascoigne.  It looks red indoors, but turns an interesting warm brown in the sunlight.

Gascoigne's Color-Change Garnet Ring

We've got garnet necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings by a variety of Manya Vee Selects artists in a variety of price points.  The selection is quite high at the moment because of January, but also because it's a lovely piece of jewelry to give your lover for Valentine's Day - which is just around the corner!  Check out this smattering of jewelry choices.

Left: Garnet Swing Necklace by Ed Levin Jewelry
Center: Garnet necklace and earring set by Manya Vee Jewelry
Right: Two Rings by Bill Booze.  Earrings by Shari Both Jewelry.

We've got a shelf devoted to nothing but garnet, and you're just seeing a small few here.  Come on by to see them all and see which one has to become yours!

Manya Vee

manyaveeselects.com

Manya Vee Selects
409 Main St, Edmonds WA  98020
425-776-3778